Easy
Last week I decided to have a talk with the boy. He doesn’t know how I like to be loved. The only way for him to know is if I tell him. So I thought about all the advice from you lovely people. First, determine what I want out of this. Quit being such a girl. Play with the balls. Tell him what I want. Most of the time, if he wants to sit around and watch football, it isn’t because my thighs are out of control huge and he cannot handle being in the same room with me. He just wants to watch football. Always warn him that you need to talk to him. Don’t spring it on him. This is the part I can’t completely wrap my mind around. If he were to call me at lunch and say, “Clear your schedule this evening because we need to talk,” I would spend the rest of the day developing an ulcer…Did he cheat on me?? Is he breaking up with me?? OMG, Does he have herpes??
But I did what you said. I text messaged him during Grey’s Anatomy telling him we needed to talk and that I’d call him at 9. This also was a good thing because I couldn’t back out of the talk. Well, he called immediately. I ignored the call because HELLOOOO. I am watching Grey’s Anatomy right now!!!! Gah. I decided to make a pot of coffee before I called him back. At 9:01 my phone rang.
I started out by telling him that I just wanted to talk about some things and I didn’t want him getting defensive and I’d actually like to have him TALK (!!! What a novel concept!) back to me. He agreed. First he was completely quiet. Then he got completely defensive. I kept my cool and tried to make him understand that I wasn’t trying to attack him. I was just letting him know how he could make me happier. After he realized I wasn’t picking on him, he told me he wanted the same from me. He was trying not to suffocate me. We talked for an hour and a half! I learned what I can do to make him happier and vice versa.
So the weekend went wonderfully. He really listened to what I said and somehow morphed into the perfect boyfriend overnight. Hopefully this will stick. Communication rocks. I am pissed at myself for not being straight-up from the beginning.
So thank you, people, for giving me awesome advice. I don’t know what I’d do without y’all.
Last week I decided to have a talk with the boy. He doesn’t know how I like to be loved. The only way for him to know is if I tell him. So I thought about all the advice from you lovely people. First, determine what I want out of this. Quit being such a girl. Play with the balls. Tell him what I want. Most of the time, if he wants to sit around and watch football, it isn’t because my thighs are out of control huge and he cannot handle being in the same room with me. He just wants to watch football. Always warn him that you need to talk to him. Don’t spring it on him. This is the part I can’t completely wrap my mind around. If he were to call me at lunch and say, “Clear your schedule this evening because we need to talk,” I would spend the rest of the day developing an ulcer…Did he cheat on me?? Is he breaking up with me?? OMG, Does he have herpes??
But I did what you said. I text messaged him during Grey’s Anatomy telling him we needed to talk and that I’d call him at 9. This also was a good thing because I couldn’t back out of the talk. Well, he called immediately. I ignored the call because HELLOOOO. I am watching Grey’s Anatomy right now!!!! Gah. I decided to make a pot of coffee before I called him back. At 9:01 my phone rang.
I started out by telling him that I just wanted to talk about some things and I didn’t want him getting defensive and I’d actually like to have him TALK (!!! What a novel concept!) back to me. He agreed. First he was completely quiet. Then he got completely defensive. I kept my cool and tried to make him understand that I wasn’t trying to attack him. I was just letting him know how he could make me happier. After he realized I wasn’t picking on him, he told me he wanted the same from me. He was trying not to suffocate me. We talked for an hour and a half! I learned what I can do to make him happier and vice versa.
So the weekend went wonderfully. He really listened to what I said and somehow morphed into the perfect boyfriend overnight. Hopefully this will stick. Communication rocks. I am pissed at myself for not being straight-up from the beginning.
So thank you, people, for giving me awesome advice. I don’t know what I’d do without y’all.
posted by Ev at 12:09 PM
7 Comments:
Wasn't me...
ooh. cool. except that your awesomeness continues to be off the market. change the "finally single" name, eh?
I'm glad everything went well. You may need to have these conversations periodically though. Once is sometimes not enough.
Communication is key. Although, sometimes it can be really scary. I hate the unknown and not knowing what they are going to say.
wow, that is so cool. actual living proof that communication is key! this baby has wings.
Now I'm all caught up on your love life, Crystal. Sounds good, for now.
It's quiet... yeah.... too quiet....
Haven't heard anything in a couple of weeks, Ev, are we to assume all's well on the Western Front?
btw - so glad I could be of help. goldennib is right, however, that us boys occasionally need a refresher. As long as it's presented properly, we don't mind, especially if we've been peppered with occasional praise for doing it right beforehand.
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