Use Me Like Listerine
I dropped the boy off at the airport on Sunday. He has to go to some conference for work. He's getting back tomorrow. 5 days without seeing him is not a big deal - in fact, it is almost normal so I shouldn't miss him. But I do! I guess it's just knowing he is in another state and I can't hop in my car and go see him.
I've lost 18 pounds in the past 6 months and I am finally starting to have lapses in insecurity. During one of these momentary confidence trips, I decided it would be a good idea to send him some dirty pictures. I've never sent a completely nude photo to someone's cell phone where they could share it with the world, but, like I said, I wasn't thinking straight. And to my surprise! He sent a dirty one back and OMG. It is really hard for me to concentrate today. I can't seem to stop staring at my phone. I am not getting any work done today. All because of a penis.
Yesterday was Steak and Blowjob Day. Since he missed it, I am trying to think of something to do this weekend to make up for it. I am going to stop by Blockbuster and rent him a couple of games. Grab a bunch of beer. I am thinking that I will start cooking and ask him to run to the store for me. When he comes back, I will be in the kitchen in a corset and a thong and heels and an apron. If you can think of anything else that would be cool, let me know.
I dropped the boy off at the airport on Sunday. He has to go to some conference for work. He's getting back tomorrow. 5 days without seeing him is not a big deal - in fact, it is almost normal so I shouldn't miss him. But I do! I guess it's just knowing he is in another state and I can't hop in my car and go see him.
I've lost 18 pounds in the past 6 months and I am finally starting to have lapses in insecurity. During one of these momentary confidence trips, I decided it would be a good idea to send him some dirty pictures. I've never sent a completely nude photo to someone's cell phone where they could share it with the world, but, like I said, I wasn't thinking straight. And to my surprise! He sent a dirty one back and OMG. It is really hard for me to concentrate today. I can't seem to stop staring at my phone. I am not getting any work done today. All because of a penis.
Yesterday was Steak and Blowjob Day. Since he missed it, I am trying to think of something to do this weekend to make up for it. I am going to stop by Blockbuster and rent him a couple of games. Grab a bunch of beer. I am thinking that I will start cooking and ask him to run to the store for me. When he comes back, I will be in the kitchen in a corset and a thong and heels and an apron. If you can think of anything else that would be cool, let me know.
posted by Ev at 8:53 AM
9 Comments:
oh. my. god. lucky, lucky bastard.
You're on the RIGHT track. Sauce it up. Get it hot and put some grill marks on it!
Then make him a steak.
Steak and Blowjob day! Oh man, you are hilarious! I saw you leave a comment over at Nessa's site. Of course I had to follow that profile photo ... I'm a guy for crying out loud. So shoot me. :)
If he's like my husband, all he needs is the steak and the blowjob. Right, Dan?
Steak can only be reheated once but blowjobs keep indefinitely.
Is there a cake and cornhole day for those who like to submit?
I think you need to run all your nekkid photos through your editor first before submitting them to your boytoy.
Surely there will be pictures?
Use you like Listerine?
So.. stick you in my mouth... swirl
you around.. then spit you out?
Do I have to make an appointment?
"I am not getting any work done today. All because of a penis."
Now you know what it's like having one. It's the dominant factor in a guys life. hehe.
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