You’re About as Cuddly as a Porcupine
Did you know that I am a good girlfriend? I am. I do laundry. I can make macaroni and cheese and fishsticks. I can hem some muhfukn pants. I shower him with gifts from video games to jockstraps (ok, that one is more for me) to television sets. I am faithful and sweet and I pay extraordinary attention to the balls.
He’s been acting strangely for the past couple of days. He doesn’t want to bone and he’s not very affectionate in other ways either. He’s been irritable and snappy. I don’t know how to deal with it.
This morning I told him that I felt invisible to him. And he ignored me and walked away.
He tends to do this when I have an issue.
It’s the cliché, Guys like bitches and girls like assholes. I could sit here and bitch and ask questions like, Why do guys always say they want a nice girl when they don’t? but I am not going to because I know why.
You teach people how to treat you. People will get away with what you will put up with.
I am a completely different person when I am dating someone than when I am in a relationship. I don’t take any shit from anybody. When I get a boyfriend, I turn into this let-me-please-you pile of mush. It’s pathetic.
I need to quit being so damn easy. I need to pay attention to my own balls.
Did you know that I am a good girlfriend? I am. I do laundry. I can make macaroni and cheese and fishsticks. I can hem some muhfukn pants. I shower him with gifts from video games to jockstraps (ok, that one is more for me) to television sets. I am faithful and sweet and I pay extraordinary attention to the balls.
He’s been acting strangely for the past couple of days. He doesn’t want to bone and he’s not very affectionate in other ways either. He’s been irritable and snappy. I don’t know how to deal with it.
This morning I told him that I felt invisible to him. And he ignored me and walked away.
He tends to do this when I have an issue.
It’s the cliché, Guys like bitches and girls like assholes. I could sit here and bitch and ask questions like, Why do guys always say they want a nice girl when they don’t? but I am not going to because I know why.
You teach people how to treat you. People will get away with what you will put up with.
I am a completely different person when I am dating someone than when I am in a relationship. I don’t take any shit from anybody. When I get a boyfriend, I turn into this let-me-please-you pile of mush. It’s pathetic.
I need to quit being so damn easy. I need to pay attention to my own balls.
posted by Ev at 6:59 AM
5 Comments:
Inbetwen doing the nice stuff to his balls, grab them and tweek them and pull the hairs out. He'll love you for it.
speaking of falling on your sword, go lock yourself in the bathroom with a pile of batteries. that helps (tho not entirely) get you over the need to b-bone and it punishes him by not letting him watch what he knows you're in there doin
better yet, b-bone one of your heterosexual, slightly older, desperately-in-need-of-a-bone, platonic male friends who lives in the city and writes you very funny emails and comments. at the very least, hook him up.
have you found out what his problem is yet? how extremely annoying and unsettling.
He probably was just PMeSsing.
You have balls?
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